Anyone that is for you will not have you in fight or flight every time they come around.
Emotions will blind you. They will have you convinced that Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is your person — because they make you feel something. But chemistry is not compatibility. It is not equally yoked. When someone makes you feel alive for 10% of the relationship and spends the other 90% manipulating, ghosting, making you feel unsafe, making your mind wander, making you feel alone even when they are right next to you — that is not love. That is a performance. And in public? Do you even exist?
And if you find yourself acting out of character, understand this: it is not because you are crazy. It is because someone treated your emotions like a game until you had nothing left but to react.
They will tell you “I got you” and you will look around and see nothing. No proof. No fruit. Just words.
When it is real, you will not have to decipher it. It will be in the words and in the actions — both. They will tell you and show you. You will not have to manipulate your way into being chosen. You will know the status of your relationship at every moment because they are the same person in your presence and out of it. No confusion. No chasing. No fighting for something that was never showing you one ounce of loyalty to begin with.
You are giving yourself depression and high blood pressure running toward something that keeps running from you.
Their character will tell you everything. And ultimately — God will tell you if it is safe. How? Your spirit will go into panic the moment you even think about communicating with the wrong person. That is not anxiety. That is God saying stay away.
It takes time to know people. You will not know someone in two days. We barely know ourselves, let alone someone else in a week.
When God was saying no for me, He shook my whole life. He sent a word. I didn’t receive it. He sent someone to speak to me. I still didn’t believe it. So He gave me a dream. When God loves you, He will warn you — over and over and over again — until you finally listen.
And when He finally brings someone who doesn’t carry chaos, you may want to sabotage it. Peace will feel unfamiliar. Strange. Too quiet. But sit in it. Rest there. You will learn that it is the best thing that has ever happened to you. God is not the author of confusion, he is the author of peace.
He wants to give you your own. For real.